Can You Admit You Are Wrong?
How hard is it for you to admit you are wrong about something? How about admitting that to those close to you, like your wife, children, or people at work, or someone that you may not have seen eye-to-eye with in the past?
Let’s face it, admitting you have been wrong takes a certain amount of humility. Your self-esteem takes a real hit.
Romans 12:3 says “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”
Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
I know it has been very hard for me at times in my life to admit I have been wrong, especially with my wife. If I admit I am wrong, my brain shoots back to my childhood where everyone seemed to consider me as not very intelligent.
My teachers in first and second grade and my family thought I was of low IQ (and still does) because of attention deficit (they did not name it that in the 1950’s) but called it retarded.
Everyone was convinced I was retarded.
They sent me to a counselor when I was 7 or 8 years old for help with my cognitive skills. After one session he told my parents that my IQ was not low but that I needed to have my hearing checked.
They did and found my hearing was very bad. I had lost hearing completely in one ear and about 50% in the other. That is why everyone thought I was ignoring them.
I had exceptionally bad earaches as a child and would scream for hours on end because of the pain. Eventually the doctors took out my tonsils which turned out to be the cause of the infection in both ears.
By that time the damage was done, and my hearing would never improve.
The damage was also done in my psyche in my early years of child development.
That mindset has followed me my whole life so when I have had a problem where something did not work or I have to admit that I am wrong about something, it shoots me back to feeling stupid and retarded.
That feeling has been lurking in the back of my brain all my life and has done damage in many of my past relationships, especially with my wife.
God has been working on this issue with me since I became a Christian, but it is not totally gone. I have become much better with her, but it still raises its ugly head from time to time.
Funny thing is that I have noticed when I do admit I was wrong about something with her, she finds it very hard to forgive me, at least right away.
She also finds it much harder to admit she was wrong about something.
I think many wives are like that. Why is that?
I think it’s because we as husbands have wounded them far more than they have wounded us. I know this is an overgeneralization, but I have observed this play out in many marriages.
My last two questions for us to answer.
1.) How hard is it for you to admit you are wrong about something?
2.) What is our opinion of ourselves and is it accurate from God’s perspective?
I hope you enjoyed this article. We have written many on our relationship to God and Jesus Christ. If you would like to read more go to Two Measures Foolish Blog.
Can You Admit You Are Wrong?
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Two Measures Foolish: Foolish to God for we sin – Foolish to the world for the cross.
Recognizing a pattern is the first step in healing and forgiveness, but maintaining that awareness also leads to a changed behavior. Admitting we are wrong is not as difficult as it is to modify the behavior before a word is uttered. If a person has a contrite heart, the conviction and commitment to change becomes a focused priority and a new and better pattern is developed. Great post John, gives us all something to ponder.
Thank you Ellen for your insight as always.