Fathers Wisdom

Fathers Wisdom

by | Mar 27, 2022 | Christian Poems, Christian Thought, Steve Oberhansly

Fathers Wisdom

Every father that commits to sticking around

Will one day to his astonishment find that he’s found

A kernel or two of wisdom to share

If only he can and if only he dare

Dear dad is lucky when these insights come from above

Being based in truth and wrapped in love

The only problem being he doesn’t know how

To make his mouth work except eating chow

Words don’t come easy and his oracle prowess is poor

He’s a man of deep thoughts but talking’s a chore

He hopes that a look or a grunt will convey

All the thoughts and advice he wished he could say

Of course there are some dads that talk like a preacher

Thinking many words make them a teacher

But the glaze in his kids eyes show that he’s lost

Their attention again not knowing the cost

And because he admires and loves his own voice

The kids turn him off though not out of choice

They love ol’dad, but the windbag goes on for so long

It wears them out instead of making them strong

So here we have two extremes to examine

And see where you stand if you can so fathom

We have to look deep sometimes as a dad

And examine the opportunities to bond we have had

Did we seize them or were we too busy to bother

Sending the message they aren’t worthy of time with their father

Oh God forgive us of all the times we’ve made this mistake

For with You we’ll reform and not just for their sake

We’ll not hand out compliments like hundred dollar bills

But throw them around like pennies until love overspills

And when we have a good base and foundation

We can dispense our advice with real affirmation

And taking our kernel of wisdom to share

Their ears will be open and they might even care

To hear you out even if you stutter or speed talk

Because they know you love them no matter their walk.

                                                                                Steve Oberhansly 8-2016

 

Fathers Wisdom

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From Death to Healing

From Death to Healing

by | Nov 13, 2021 | Christian Stories of Hope, Christian Thought, Dealing with Death

From Death to Healing

The following two articles were written by a mother whose son had committed suicide.

The first was written over thirty years ago, shortly after her son took his life.

She wrote the first on the advice of her counselor at the time, to help her heal from this horrific event in her and her husband’s life.

The second she wrote just a short time ago.

It was interesting to see how her perspective did or did not change over the last thirty years.

 

Guest Blog By Carole France

 

“My dearest John,

I miss you.

I long to hear your voice and to share days, hours or even minutes with you.

The love I have for you is still in my heart and I am unable to express it to any other human being.

It is yours alone.

When you were born your dad was so happy that he had a son.

He announced that he had a fishing buddy.

You would carry on his name.

I will always treasure the night that you and I spent together when you were a tiny baby.

You brought me joy your entire life from just being you.

You were intelligent, handsome, fun, funny, interested in learning, deep, complicated, challenging, caring, cautions, sometimes fearful, yet you were also brave and independent.

Little did I know how unprepared I was to raise you children and I know I made mistakes that hurt you.

I know the anger and frustration I saw in you as a teenager was really the disappointment you felt over not having the close family you desired.

All that anger in you worried me.

What you needed was our love, support, time, understanding, patience, and guidance.

You needed us to tell you that God knows and loves you beyond any happening ever in life.

He made you, understands you, and is committed to you – regardless of your struggles.

Instead, though, your dad and I lectured to try and get you to do what we wanted you to do.

I want you to know how sorry I am that you missed out on the love and nurturing that you deserved.

My heart will ache always for what I was not able to give you.

You were dealing with painful emotions and circumstances beyond what a teen should have to face.

They obviously consumed you and you felt powerless to fix it.

I wish I could have explained to you that life is like a book… each chapter is different from the other.

When your young and troubled it may seem like the chapter you are experiencing is the only one and that nothing will ever change.

The truth is that 1,3,5 years down the road our relationships, circumstance, and events are all different.

Of course, we always have stress in our lives, but you would have had more life experiences, more answers of your own from which to draw, and more people in your life to help support you when you asked.

John, when you made the choice to end your own life, I blamed myself, but I will not accept that responsibility anymore.

Even though I will forever feel badly about what you did, it was you who made the choice to kill yourself.

There are so many other choices you could have made, and I know we could have gotten through it together.

But I understand that on that day it was just too much.

You took yourself away from everyone who loves you.

Your decision brought deep and lasting pain to many, many people.

If you were here today all our lives would be more complete.

We would still have problems to deal with, but we would face them together.

I can’t help but wonder who you would have grown up to be, who you would have married and what the voices of your children would have sounded like calling me “Grandma”.

I will always wish that you would have talked to me and asked for my opinion on your leaving.

I would have begged and pleaded with you to stay!

You matter!

I truly and fully love and miss you and I want you to be here,

Mom”

A portrait of John from his high school yearbook.

Thirty Years Later

“A few weeks ago, I was asked to write a follow-up some thirty years later to my message expressed to my son John shortly after his death.

Since we as a family talk about John often I wasn’t prepared for the return of painful emotions this would bring.

My thoughts and feelings held the same raw loss and loneliness experienced those first hours, days, months and years so long ago.

The difference this time was that I knew what to do.

After years of crying out to my Savior, Jesus, I realized He had taught me to go to His word for honesty, truth, comfort, and the healing He has offered me over these years.

Has it been easy?

NO!!!

But it has been REAL!

It has been the most helpful help offered in navigating the intense grief and emptiness in losing one’s precious child in such a horrific way.

I’ve learned that God really is Who He says He is and that He makes good on all His promises made in His Bible.”

 

From Death to Healing

 

 

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What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

by | Sep 28, 2020 | Apologetics, Gratefulness, John Tarr

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful? 

When I had set out to write this article, I already had some idea of my limitations about this subject of being grateful. Gratitude has not come easily to me.

I have never really had a mind set that would help me to think this way. You see, I was an atheist until I was 30 years old so being grateful was an abstract thought for most of my life. If I worked hard and fulfilled my dreams my accomplishments had nothing to do with anything or anyone else but me.

Once I became a Christian that changed but I was still not in a good mindset of being grateful. Maybe I expressed gratitude when I prayed but not in my daily dealings with life, and certainly not when I was angry, in a bad mood or depressed.

A very good friend of mine opened this bag of worms (bag of gratefulness) in a phone call a month ago. He said he suffered from sadness or depression most of his life and was trying to kick that habit.

As we talked, I think God spoke to me and said, “How can you be sad or depressed when you are grateful?” I told my friend this and we talked at some length about the subject.

A few weeks later my friend Randy was leading the Men’s Hope Group at our church that I belong to and his subject for the night was “being grateful”.

He opened the discussion for everyone to participate in.

Listening to the different men explain their thoughts was eye opening but one thing that was repeated many times was that the other men were also having the same problem of being grateful as I was.

My cousin Ellen said to me when I told her I was writing a blog on this topic.

“We think of our struggles as punishments. Could it be that God is trying to help us grow beyond our finite perspectives? Gratitude during our trials helps build character from God’s perspective.”  

“We Think of Our Struggles As Punishments

That response from her was very powerful and hit the nail on the head.

I then decided to contact family and friends and find out their thoughts on being grateful. I wondered if, perhaps, we all could learn from each other.

Below are many of the comments they wrote me when I asked them “What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful”

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

“Blessing & being content!!!!” — Rosie

“Gratitude makes you believe you have a responsibility to give back to the others. Entitlement makes you believe others have a responsibility to give back to you.”

AND

“You could also argue all worship is a form of gratitude for what God has done or is doing. At the very least, gratitude is one of if not the primary vehicle of worship.” — Justin

“Gratefulness is a gift from God. It rewires the human brain for good, lifts the spirits, cheers the heart, cancels greed and entitlement mentality and brings a sense of peace and well-being to one’s soul. Gratitude acknowledges the goodness of God.” — Randy

“Being grateful to GOD should in turn make you more humble and then turn into obedience to His will in your life.” — Erik

“Gratitude is an open awareness of our finite abilities and God’s ultimate authority and sovereignty. It is the recognition of God’s renewed mercies every day. Gratitude is also having the ability to pause and give thanks for all of God’s creation both large and small, and our interactions within it.  It is a form of surrender and appreciation of God’s influence and work in our lives. Gratitude means taking nothing for granted, or seeking from an entitlement perspective, as no living thing is worthy or deserving of God’s love and mercy, yet He gives it freely. Every day we have the opportunity to be grateful for each breathe of life we are given, and the fact that God sustains all things.” — Ellen

“The more grateful we are, the more people see Jesus shine in you. The more grateful we are, the joy of the Lord is in us. A grateful heart is a humble heart.” — Connie

“Gratefulness reflects appreciation. It reflects humility. It acknowledges the giver. It also reflects graciousness. Who doesn’t like the person who lives their life from a place of gratefulness?” — Lynwood

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

“Gratitude promotes a feeling of kindness and love for the giver and receiver. In other words, when someone gives you a gift or shows you kindness, you both walk away with a warm fuzzy feeling in your tummy.” — Tom

“Being Grateful, helps keep you humble and thankful for everything and everyone in your life!” — Shaun

“Becoming grateful – or looking around for things to appreciate & be thankful for – brings incredible amounts of joy & peace & fulfillment, where there used to be misery, cynicism, restlessness.” — Ariel

“When you are feeling truly grateful, it pushes all sinful attitudes out. There’s no room for feeling bitterness, covetousness, anger, jealousy etc. —  It re-focuses our hearts on the gifts that God has blessed us with and helps us to truly love God and the people He has placed in our lives.” — Candace

“The main benefit of being grateful for me is to concentrate on something that is good in my life and not think so much of what is negative.” — Kathy 

“Being grateful….

  • Feelings of dissatisfaction with what you have.
  • Lends to being a more forgiving person.
  • Improves appreciation for the blessings frequently taken for granted
  • Reduces stress and improves your health.
  • Grateful people are more cheerful.
  • Grateful people handled success better.
  • Being more concerned for others than yourself is a byproduct of gratefulness
  • Grateful persons are a joy to be around
  • Being grateful supports other fruits of the Spirit
  • Grateful people are less condemning of themselves and others
  • Grateful people are not bitter people”
  • — Steve

“Being grateful is one of the few times you get to understand the value of anything, if you are never grateful then you can never understand what it is you have or what someone else has done for you. It means your outlook on life will most likely be pitted against you instead of for you. Being grateful provides not only a happier moment but a much stronger and durable guide to happiness, don’t we all want to be happy? Then we should all also be grateful no matter how little we feel we have.” — Jacob

“Benefits of being grateful is that it helps you to be happy and content with what you have. If you are always looking at what somebody else has that is better than what you have, you will not be satisfied. It keeps you from allowing yourself to be happy.” — Jason 

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

“I can’t see God clearly unless I am grateful. I am only truly grateful when I am humbled. I am only ever truly humbled when I recognize the depravity of my heart. I only see the depravity of my heart when I am transparent and in community. When I am transparent and in community, I see my need for God which brings me right back to being grateful!” — Paul

“Hope in the future is built on a foundation of recognizing our blessings and being grateful for them.” — Pam 

“One benefit of being grateful is an attitude change. If you are grateful your attitude is positive, and it will affect those around you.” — Freya

“Early in our marriage we sat under a much-loved pastor who constantly admonished his flock, “Have an attitude of gratitude,” and he consistently modeled that in his own life and speech. Another good friend speaks of the difference between an “abundance mentality” and a “scarcity mentality.” When we recognize that God’s provision for us really is enough, we will respond with gratitude, and that gratitude begets generosity.” — Rhonda

“Everything I have is a gift from God, my life, my family, my next breath. In living with this knowledge, I have peace that God provides.” — Jim

“Some of the benefits of being grateful: a more positive attitude and outlook, and helps my relationships go better too.” — Jack

“When thinking of this I was overwhelmed at the benefit of having a grateful heart. The first thing that came to mind was the overwhelming feeling of peace. A peace that only God can give and is the One to whom having a grateful heart belongs… His constant love and care in my life is only a portion of the gratefulness because the benefits are for me, too numerous to count. Hope being one of them. Joy and a sense of well-being. Sensing His constant care and concern for my life always keeps me in a mindset of gratitude on a daily basis, which for me, is life sustaining. I am so GRATEFUL for the benefits of GRATITUDE as it is also from the very Heart of God.” — Monica

“Being grateful stings the devil and takes him out of the equation.” — Keith

 

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

What Are the Benefits of Being Grateful?

I personally thank each and every one of you that participated with this important question. I am Very Grateful (I knew I would get that in there at some point) that you took time out of your busy schedule to sit and reflect on this topic and then send me your answers.

I know many of the quotes are similar, but people did not have access to what others have said until now.

One last thought as I close.

I am personally grateful to the Christian God that created me and that He has the character qualities that He has, and that Jesus exhibited throughout His life. Loving, forgiving, humility, compassion, gentleness, self-control, patience, obedience, honesty and prayerful are just a few. 10 qualities of Jesus.

His amazing patience with me before I accepted Jesus into my heart and also the years afterward.

All my gratefulness radiates from Him.

If after reading this blog, if you would like to contribute to this discussion, please comment below so everyone can see what you have to say or maybe go to our Facebook page for a lively discussion once this blog is posted.

This is what Two Measures Foolish is all about—digging deeper into the things of God and our world that He made for us to live and grow in.

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Christian Thirty Points of Prayer

Christian Thirty Points of Prayer

by | Jul 23, 2020 | Daily Thoughts, Prayer, Randy Williams

Christian Thirty Points of Prayer

A list from my heart of things I believe from the Bible that are undisputed concerning God’s will for you and me.

 

I use these in the morning as points to pray for you and me. I am absolutely convinced they are a part of God’s will for us.

 

  1. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Salvation – soften their hearts, give them light, open their eyes to see You Jesus.

 

  1. For Your will to be done in them.

 

  1. That they would love You with all their hearts, soul, mind and strength.

 

  1. To love their neighbors as themselves.

 

  1. Keep the Biblical moral commands and have supernatural grace to do that. 

 

  1. Come to the knowledge of truth and see everything from Your perspective. 

 

  1. To bring glory, honor to God and reflect His life to the world.

 

  1. To be filled with and controlled by God’s Holy Spirit. 

 

  1. To learn and be self-controlled.

 

  1. To listen to and obey the promptings of the Lord.

 

  1. To spend quality time with God and recharge in His Word. To absolutely see this as a matter of life and death. 

 

  1. To take God up on His gift of prayer and actually be a prayer warrior. 

 

  1. To have a soft heart to share Jesus with others motivated by His love. 

 

  1. To be sanctified and become more like Jesus Christ. 

 

  1. Be in a fruitful holy covenant marriage relationship.
Christian Thirty Points of Prayer
  1. To be a responsible steward over all God has given you and honor Him.

 

  1. To always be thankful and grateful. 

 

  1. To choose by an act of your will to seek, ask, knock  in your  pursuit of God.

 

  1. To have strong Christian friends and be involved in a fellowship and serve and disciple others the Lord brings.

 

  1. To overcome the world, the flesh and the devil through Christ’s risen power. To be an overcomer at the end.

 

  1. To keep a short account with the Lord regarding your sins.

 

  1. To risk loving deeply, even if imperfectly. To have a circumcised heart.

 

  1. To take care of your body as it is a temple of the Lord.

 

  1. To have no others gods before you especially the little idols of the world. 

 

  1. To live righteously by faith, not in unbelief. 

 

  1. To understand spiritual warfare and use the authority Christ has given us to win the battle for ourselves and others.

 

  1. To bear much fruit for the glory of Christ.

 

  1. To bear up under sufferings, trials and temptations.

 

  1. In order to beat addictions and literally rewire your brain with the help of the Holy Spirit.

 

  1. To know God and enjoy Him forever.

 

Christian Thirty Points of Prayer

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What’s the Point of All This?

What’s the Point of All This?

by | Mar 10, 2020 | Christian Thought, Free Will, Randy Williams

What’s the Point of All This? 

“The Lord will not allow the righteous (me in Christ) to hunger. (You, oh Lord, have met all my physical needs as I have never gone hungry.) But He will reject and cast away the cravings of the wicked (or wicked cravings not of His nature; those cravings from our flesh or sin nature).” — Proverbs 10:3

 

So far, I have spent 65 years in the world loving the world as I love myself and attempting to put myself or keep myself on the throne of my life. My natural inclination is to want to be God and call the shots. That may sound harsh, but it is true. 

Is your relationship with God like that of the relationship that Christ had with His Father? They have always had perfect love, unity and harmony. Jesus never went in a direction his Father didn’t go; neither willfully nor by accident. And Jesus willingly obeyed the assignment of his Father to the death.

Jesus was an example for us – the real example. His relationship with His Father in heaven was lived out in real human life.

He became a man like us yet without sin so that he could free us from sin, from the curse and from our separation of God (from death).

 What’s the point of all this? 

God loves us and wants us. He created us to be one with Him in love, to have absolutely no sin between us; that is, to have nothing that breaks our fellowship with Him … the intimate love. 

Something that brings me so much hope is to think about a perfect love relationship like the one Jesus and His Father had for all of eternity, a relationship that was only broken when Christ became sin on our behalf on the cross.

At that moment God literally turned His face away from His Son and that perfect intimacy of love was broken. Imagine the pain.  Many are aware of the emotional pain of divorce or separation of a loved one from death. Christ’s obedience did cost God a huge price.

It cost Jesus a huge price. 

Jesus and His finished work on the cross made it possible for us to be reconciled to God and begin a new relationship with God the Father that we were meant, designed, and created for; perfect love and unity and joy and pleasure in God Himself.

Jesus never looked to anything in the flesh or the world for His ultimate fulfillment. He always trusted this Father for all of his needs; love, peace, joy, patience, long suffering, kindness, etc. (the very nature and character of God).

What’s the Point of All This?

Author Randy Williams on one his long hikes connecting with God.

My leaning (my nature) is to look at absolutely everything other than my heavenly Father for fulfillment and significance and, yes, even pleasure and comfort!

Any area of my life, ever so small, can cause disharmony in my relationship with God. For example, what is the state of my heart? Is it hard and cold or is it soft and warm?

Jesus had a loving, warm, passionate heart of love for all of us who are separated from His heavenly Father. He is not passive or jaded or uninterested in others.      

Jesus came to save us from spiritual, physical and mental death.

If we become a new creation in Christ, we become like Him in purpose, love, and motivation and we take on a harmonious, obedient, servant heart and we do the Father’s will just like Jesus did.  

My new reality is that I can transcend the temporal, this world and the things of creation that constantly change or die or fade away; things that are only sustained by the power of God himself.

The new reality is that I can have eternal life with God in an intimate, loving, tender, caring, affectionate, yes, sweet, even passionate relationship with God.  There is nothing lukewarm or passive about God’s eternal love.

I want, I desire, yes, I even demand love eternal. Nothing else will do!

Give me Jesus or nothing else matters.

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What’s the Point of All This? 

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